Self Protection

So much of my riding is trying to find that childlike joy that doesn’t happen easily for me. I’m hardly what you’d call a joyous person, more of a begrudging contenter. My time with horses therefore has become more precious. It’s made me protective of this happy place, often conscious of it’s fragility. Spending time with a physical creature makes you aware of how quickly it can all change. There are times it’s made me strive too hard in the wrong direction, being nervous of making mistakes. Talk to any of my past trainers and I’m sure they’ll all agree I had/have a tendency to freeze and sit passive. Admittedly it has also allowed me some relief. It’s made me resolute in my beliefs and pathway in life. Training with detail gave me boundaries, taught me to use my guardedness in a good way and gave me a push as a young person that was sorely needed. 

Prospective clients often are wary of my strictness when it comes to riding and training. It can be overwhelming at times for sure. I remind them It’s not a quest for perfection, I’m not scolding anyone but helping them form their own boundaries, keep them on the rails and on track to the same glimmer of joy I find when I’m with my horses. Even with the best of intentions It’s easy to be thrown off path. This yearning for detail isn’t to bamboozle people but to give them more tools, more ways back on track. With the detail it’s easier to celebrate the little steps forward. I’ll take the glimmer of joy over the greyness of vagueness any day.